You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
