Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
