Plan B is the new Plan A
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
