I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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