I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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