That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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