We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
