whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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