I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
