Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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