i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
