i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
