Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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