what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize