you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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