the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
