the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize