forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
