Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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