Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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