I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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