yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
