Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
