you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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