If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize