i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
