Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
