genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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