Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
