if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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