she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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