So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
