Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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