If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
