dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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