I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
