That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
