I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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