i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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