Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
