I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
