you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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