Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
