We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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