so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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