thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
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