Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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