I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
