Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
