fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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