So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
