worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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