shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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