Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
