can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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