Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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