Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
