theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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