Your face is a jimmy john
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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