I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
